By Edson McLean
There are three things my mother told me about women. 1) Never comment on a women’s weight. 2) Lying is sometimes okay. 3) If you forget a women’s birthday or your anniversary you’re as good as dead. That being said, you’re probably thinking I made a huge mistake. But you’re wrong.
A few weeks ago, my girlfriend just celebrated another birthday. She had been talking about getting these yoga pants from Victoria’s Secret for a while now. Sitting at home I thought it was no big deal to run into Victoria’s Secret by myself and grab these pants and get the hell out. But, trust me, it’s easier said than done.
As I went to the nearest mall and proceeded to walk into Victoria’s Secret by myself, I suddenly realized that my legs became heavier and heavier with each step I took. Finally, as I stood outside the store I felt as though I had been standing in a bucket of cement. I quickly detoured and did a quick about-face as if I were a part of some army platoon, only later to find myself in the same predicament 15 minutes later. I thought to myself, “If I can spot one guy in the store this won’t be as awkward.” Thirty minutes later, not a single guy walked into the store.
I took a deep breath, stuck my chest out and began charging the store as if I were Barry Sanders invading some defensive line. As I began to look around in unfamiliar territory, I readily admit I was so lost. But, can you blame me? There are a lot of skimpy distractions in that store.
Then finally–my saving grace–two experts came out of no where to provide me assistance. Victoria (how ironic) said that famous line that I never truly appreciated until that very moment. “Is there anything special that you’re looking for?” The only thought that crossed my mind was “Thank You God!” As Victoria and her co-worker, Ashley, began showing me around, I realized the cement I thought I was standing in began to break away. Victoria and Ashley went outside of their comfort zone and went over and beyond the call of duty by picking out different styles and giving their opinion. The more time I spent with Victoria and Ashley the more comfortable I began to feel, and the more comfortable I began to feel, the more fun I actually began to have. This ultimately meant the more money I was going to spend and I’m not sure if Ashley and Victoria saw sucker written all over my face, but if they never would have spent that extra time trying on different pants for me and showing me around I probably wouldn’t have bought what I intended to buy from that store. So thanks Ashley and Victoria for being THE DIFF, because without you I most likely would still be stuck in a bucket of cement outside your store.