Editor’s note: Angry Ed is back with some advice for safe and fun driving. By following these simple rules, we can all be the DIFF and keep Angry Ed smiling!
This week we explore "The DIFF" between driving like you have an ounce of consideration for the millions of others trying to get from A to B on our crowded roads, and deserving to be drawn-and-quartered.
I find driving to be one of the most stressful things I HAVE to do every day, and the stress I feel comes from millions of either inconsiderate or ignorant people that need to be educated or eradicated. Just writing this raised my heart rate, and you’ll note the gradual increase in the aggressiveness of tone as the post continues.
Following are a few common road-rage inspiring acts, which you should all be careful not to commit, for when I rule the world and set the laws, punishment will be swift and severe:
- When turning left, common decency dictates that you should pull far enough into the intersection to accommodate the car behind you. At least one other vehicle should be able to enter the intersection with you, and follow through on the red.
- I know it’s hard work to stare at a light, and wait for it to turn green. It’s so much easier to daydream and hope to notice movement in your peripheral when the car next to you begins to go, but if we all did that, no one would get anywhere.
- Please use your turn signal. If you could let me know as your vehicle is approaching, that you’ll be turning right, into the driveway from which I would like to depart, it would save so much time.
- You can turn right on Red. It’s ok, really! I swear, it’s legal. And, you can turn left on red if it’s onto a one way street. Look it up.
- Stop flicking your cigarette butts out the window! Last I checked, the filters and paper weren’t biodegradable. I understand that the ash tray is full of your change, but does that mean our roads should be full of your trash? If you toss your butts, you suck!
- If you ever again decide to turn left and signal that you’re doing so AFTER we’ve both come to a stop at the light. I’ll slash your tires. If I’d known you were going to turn left before I stopped behind you, I would have gone around. Instead, because of your lack of awareness, I get detained.
- Rubberneck! I understand natural human curiosity, but when your natural curiosity slows me to a crawl because you want to see some blood, guts, death and/or dismemberment, you’ve violated my God-given right to get home from work in a reasonable amount of time, and for that, you should be eternally damned.
- Finally, it’s called "The Fast Lane." Everyone knows this! It’s strictly for passing, and in order to pass, you need to be driving faster than someone else. I don’t care how old you are, what your ethnicity is, if you’re on the phone, already exceeding the speed limit, or whatever excuse you have for governing my speed; if you aren’t passing someone in the passing lane, get the hell out!
Stress kills. It gives you cancer, or gets you shot because you drive like an idiot. If we could eliminate the above discourteous acts from our roads, we’d all enjoy longer, less stressful lives.
What makes your blood boil behind the wheel?