What's The Diff?

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Angry Ed Wants Bad Drivers Ripped Off the Road

Editor’s note: Angry Ed is back with some advice for safe and fun driving.  By following these simple rules, we can all be the DIFF and keep Angry Ed smiling!

Angry Ed Wants Bad Drivers Ripped Off the RoadThis week we explore "The DIFF" between driving like you have an ounce of consideration for the millions of others trying to get from A to B on our crowded roads, and deserving to be drawn-and-quartered.

I find driving to be one of the most stressful things I HAVE to do every day, and the stress I feel comes from millions of either inconsiderate or ignorant people that need to be educated or eradicated. Just writing this raised my heart rate, and you’ll note the gradual increase in the aggressiveness of tone as the post continues.

Following are a few common road-rage inspiring acts, which you should all be careful not to commit, for when I rule the world and set the laws, punishment will be swift and severe:

  1. When turning left, common decency dictates that you should pull far enough into the intersection to accommodate the car behind you. At least one other vehicle should be able to enter the intersection with you, and follow through on the red.
  2. I know it’s hard work to stare at a light, and wait for it to turn green. It’s so much easier to daydream and hope to notice movement in your peripheral when the car next to you begins to go, but if we all did that, no one would get anywhere.
  3. Please use your turn signal. If you could let me know as your vehicle is approaching, that you’ll be turning right, into the driveway from which I would like to depart, it would save so much time.
  4. You can turn right on Red. It’s ok, really! I swear, it’s legal. And, you can turn left on red if it’s onto a one way street. Look it up.
  5. Stop flicking your cigarette butts out the window! Last I checked, the filters and paper weren’t biodegradable. I understand that the ash tray is full of your change, but does that mean our roads should be full of your trash?  If you toss your butts, you suck!
  6. If you ever again decide to turn left and signal that you’re doing so AFTER we’ve both come to a stop at the light. I’ll slash your tires. If I’d known you were going to turn left before I stopped behind you, I would have gone around. Instead, because of your lack of awareness, I get detained.
  7. Rubberneck! I understand natural human curiosity, but when your natural curiosity slows me to a crawl because you want to see some blood, guts, death and/or dismemberment, you’ve violated my God-given right to get home from work in a reasonable amount of time, and for that, you should be eternally damned.
  8. Finally, it’s called "The Fast Lane." Everyone knows this! It’s strictly for passing, and in order to pass, you need to be driving faster than someone else. I don’t care how old you are, what your ethnicity is, if you’re on the phone, already exceeding the speed limit, or whatever excuse you have for governing my speed; if you aren’t passing someone in the passing lane, get the hell out!

Stress kills. It gives you cancer, or gets you shot because you drive like an idiot. If we could eliminate the above discourteous acts from our roads, we’d all enjoy longer, less stressful lives.

What makes your blood boil behind the wheel?

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  1. What irritates me most are people on the road that feel they are above the law, ignoring state-mandated licensing laws. Like this guy: http://www.whatsthediff.com/2007/01/licensed_to_exp.html
    I also hate when people pull out in front of me and cause a brake. Idiots.

    Posted by: Chelsea | May 29, 2007
  2. This is just a bunch of driving tips. Even though they’re valid points, this isn’t a story that “exposes the difference between average and excellence,” as you claim this site does.

    Posted by: Casey | May 29, 2007
  3. Ok Casey. The “Diff” is that if you drive considerately, the world will be a better place. If you don’t, it won’t. Clear?

    Posted by: ed | May 29, 2007
  4. I suppose people driving like idiots is average, and those of us that can understand, and appreciate, those driving properly are the difference.
    If you cannot determine the relevance, we know which camp you likely fall into.

    Posted by: Ten Pin Timmy | May 29, 2007
  5. You know what’s sad? Doing what you’re *supposed* to do is now the DIFF. Sub-par is now “average.”
    This is so depressing. I’m moving to Canada.

    Posted by: Me | May 29, 2007
  6. Okay, so is it the “Fast Lane” or is it the “Passing Lane?” You should be more clear you overstressed, cranky, old chest exhibitionist.

    Posted by: Rusty Shackleford | May 29, 2007
  7. I like the way you think Angry Ed. You forgot one: in a construction zone where a lane is closed — and clearly marked miles beforehand that it will be closed — it is 100 percent the anti-DIFF to drive all the way to the end of the merging lane and force me and many others who have cooperatively merged miles before to crawl at an even more frustrating pace to let these “I’m more important than you” people in. Grrrr.

    Posted by: Peppermint Patty | May 29, 2007
  8. Okay Angry Ed – here’s my big traffic gripe: when a traffic light is out, we are to follow the “four way stop” rule, otherwise knows as “taking turns.” the people who tail gate onto the car going through the light, as if staying on someone’s tail makes them one car… and not one car and the cheating slime bag on his tail.

    Posted by: kathy fawcett | May 30, 2007
  9. Actually, Ed, no, I don’t get it. Driving with courtesy is just following the rules of the road. The “diff” is more like the two guys I encountered while driving a one lane county highway. They were in a pickup truck in front of me and since I couldn’t see in front of them, I used them to shield myself against any speed traps. They didn’t seem to mind, so I kept following. At one point, they slowed down and the driver stuck his hand out the window to signal me to slow down. He pulled over half on the shoulder and waved me to do the same. I realized there was an oncoming construction trailer pulling a very wide load. These two strangers went out of their way to make sure I was safe. When it comes to driving, THAT’S the diff.

    Posted by: Casey | June 1, 2007
  10. I disagree with Peppermint Patty. I always zoom up to the front and think of those who don’t as mindless sheep. What’s wrong with zooming up? There’s no law against it. It doesn’t make sense to me why everyone doesn’t do this. Why is it considered “nice” to merge as soon as possible? It’s illogical to me.

    Posted by: Gimpy | June 5, 2007
  11. Gimpy, it’s called, “bottlenecking.” -It’s all about impedance. The point at which the 2 lanes converge becomes a bottleneck, when too many cars are trying to fit into it at once. Think about it. If all cars single-filed immediately, while they’re still moving, instead of speeding up to the end of the lane where they will have to slow down dramatically, or even stop, causing others to slow or stop, we would be able to maintain a steady flow of traffic. Make sense?

    Posted by: Ed | June 5, 2007
  12. This concept of bottlenecking needs its own post. Period.
    And a very long, protracted awareness campaign in every state of the union. Yes, even Hawaii. Because us “continental states” people drive there, too, spoiling paradise.

    Posted by: Christy | June 5, 2007
  13. Yes, if everyone in the merge lane tries to get onto the main road all at once, I could se where there’d be a problem. But that’s not how it works. However, it should be more like a zipper–one car moves from the merge lane onto the main road, then the next person in the merge lane lets the next car on the main road go forward and merges behind it. If a car goes slow trying to merge before the end, the bottleneck is just farther up the road.
    Still doesn’t make sense to me, and yes, I will continue to be more important than everyone else :-)

    Posted by: Gimpy | June 7, 2007
  14. My personal favorite… 696. Great for aggrevating high blood pressure, mitral valve prolapse and the shakes. Even better? Those on motorcycle who choose to “lane split”. At which point their survival rate becomes about 20% on that god forsaken stretch of highway. Which then leads to “rubbernecking” (see above). I’m with you Angry Ed. Which reminds me, it’s your turn to drive the carpool.

    Posted by: Kate | June 18, 2007
  15. Ran across this little tidbit today… “Drivers’ Ten Commandments”… from the Vatican.
    1. You shall not kill.
    2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
    3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
    4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
    5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
    6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
    7. Support the families of accident victims.
    8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
    9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
    10. Feel responsible toward others.

    Posted by: Kate | June 19, 2007

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Sunday, March 18, 2018