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Red Lights that make my face turn red – or – Stop the stupid stoplights

Stop the Stupid Stoplights!by Mark Messing

It’s no secret we live in a fast paced society. Deadlines, schedules, appointments, and bosses all ensure that we will all be busy from dawn till dusk.  We have very little time for rest. 

We have to GO, GO, GO! 

So when something tells us to stop, it can be annoying.  Especially when that something is a stop light.  I have noticed that there are some stop lights that are extra annoying.  The type that make you stop and wonder who ever decided to set them up so madly.  Here is what I’m talking about:

The light that lasts too long (AKA The Dozer)

It’s 6 in the morning.  You got up early to miss the morning traffic as best you could.  You’re driving down a road with 65 other people, all of which are forced to stop because someone decided to put a stoplight up for a puny little side street.  If you are lucky, one car will pull away, giving the light some sort of relevance.  But even if there is one or two cars, the light will remain red for another two minutes, unphased by its own lack of purpose.  Can’t someone put a timer on this thing?  Can’t they set it up so at 6 a.m. this light will go to a blinking yellow?  Who knows how much gas early bird Americans are wasting every day because of the dreaded “Dozer.”

That light that is way too short (AKA Quick Hit)

You are at a busy intersection, made up by two streets that are equal in their busyness.  Yet for some reason, your green light lasts 3 seconds, while the other street gets the VIP treatment.  Why are you forced to wait 3 minutes while only getting ten seconds to go?  What are you waiting for a train here or something?  The light needs to be kept green longer.  This is made clear every day as you come home during rush hour, and your street is backed up 2 miles, while theirs is running like a nose in a Kleenex commercial.  Just be prepared, because when that light turns green, you better gun it.  You only have 3 seconds to make the best of a horrible situation.

The light that turns red right after a different red light (AKA Double Smack)

A red light is a necessity.  For the most part, I can accept that.  But this red light defies logic.  It doesn’t make any sense.  If both the red lights need to be red, why can’t they be red at the same time?  They are seriously, less then 40 feet apart.  And yet, I am forced to wait twice as long as anyone should.  The cruelest part is that the second light is typically a dozer.  This is the type of thing that makes people fall asleep while driving.

Well that’s that.  Three very annoying stops on the busy freeway we call every day driving.  Does anyone else run into these kinds of lights? Can you come up with any annoying light I’m missing?  Don’t stop yourself from letting the world know. 

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  1. Ooooo, I like the alternate title!

    Posted by: Mark | September 13, 2007
  2. My pet peeve is the No Turn on Red sign in the right turn lane.
    It absolutely paralyzes traffic. I understand it is to force you to yield to the left turn arrow, but why not then make it a flashing red in the right turn lane instead? Just sitting there when no traffic is coming is annoying.
    Speaking of the left turn arrow, I hate it when there is no blinking red between the green arrows. I love the green arrow – love it – but it really should be a blinking red light when not a green arrow. We have a light like this by my house. I live out in the sticks. Can’t tell you how many times I’m the only car sitting there staring at a solid red in the left turn lane. So I basically run it.

    Posted by: Mike D | September 13, 2007
  3. In Detroit, if you stop at a yellow light the person behind you will smash into you.

    Posted by: Clay C | September 13, 2007
  4. Mike D-
    Even worse is when there isn’t a left turn light and only one car is getting through for every light.

    Posted by: Mark | September 13, 2007
  5. What Clay means is that if in Detroit and you stop at a yellow light…HE will smash into you from behind.
    Cuz you know…he doesn’t pay attention like that.

    Posted by: Jen R | September 14, 2007
  6. EXACTLY, Mark. Well said.
    Also, if you stop at a yellow light, rumor has it Clay will car jack you.
    I’m just saying…

    Posted by: Mike D. | September 15, 2007
  7. In Arizona, some of the street lights have sensors in the ground below the cars. When there is a car in the left turn they, they adjust the timing of the lights to give the maximum amount of cars in the left lane a chance to get through. AMAZING what someone with half a brain can come up with…

    Posted by: Kriste | September 17, 2007
  8. I knew there must have been a reason for all of those people moving to Arizona.

    Posted by: Mark Messing | September 18, 2007

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Sunday, March 18, 2018