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Before and After – Individual Results May Vary

The Before and After of Motherhoodby Nicole Tolman


Before I became a mother, I was many things.  I was a graphic designer, a traveler, an avid thrift store shopper, an interior decorator, a runner, a dance club fanatic, an underground music lover…just to name a few.

Before I became a mother, I would not hesitate to spend $120.00 on a pair of shoes consciously knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford to eat anything but Ramen Noodles until my next paycheck.

Before I became a mother, I would spend my weekends (and the occasional weekday), out with the girls dancing until 5:00am (Chicago time) and sleeping in until at least noon.

Before I became a mother, I feared being a mother.  I feared not having travel adventures to plan and look forward to.  I feared not knowing how to raise a child in today’s crazy society.  I feared not being able to spend money on myself.  Most of all, I feared never being able to reach my career goals.  I assumed being a good mother meant accepting the role of Betty Homemaker and turning in my computer for an apron.


After I became a mother, I worked hard to remain all of the things I was before giving birth, (minus the dance club fanatic and Ramen Noodle binger.)  Despite my previous fear, I have become a better person all the way around because of my version of motherhood. 

After I became a mother, I had more purpose than ever to be successful in my career.  I now have a home-made source of inspiration.  Although burp cloths have because a constant piece in my wardrobe, I’ve managed to stay apron-free…and I will soon be upgrading my old PC to a Mac.

After I became a mother, I instantly felt a love so strong it made my heart ache.  I instantly felt that the little things weren’t worth stressing out over anymore.  I instantly acquired a new goal of wanting my son to grow up striving to be open-minded and dynamic in whatever things he chooses to be before and after he becomes a parent.


You are still what you were before.  Because I know how wrapped up in motherhood you can get, I also know that sometimes it takes only a little motivation to get back in the game.  Your game.  Whatever it may be.

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  1. Very inspiring for other working Moms out there!

    Posted by: Kel | October 11, 2007
  2. NICOLE!! this was so inspirational! You did great!! I seriously got chills reading it. You so talented and a WONDERFUL mommy! Zayden will be so well rounded from the love, knowledge and motivation you and Aaron give him. I love you Mamma!

    Posted by: Cerra | October 12, 2007
  3. Nicole, your right about everything. I have all of those fears and I am sure every first time mom felt the same way. It was Poetic! It was what I needed to pick me up this morning. Thank you for your words! I love you and I know you are a great mother, friend and career builder! Mwaaaaaaa

    Posted by: Simona | October 12, 2007

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Sunday, March 18, 2018