You can tell a lot about a person just by what they choose to be for Halloween. Some go to "here for a week" costume emporiums and pay $75 to look like the most popular character from the latest South Park episode. Some throw gel in their hair and tell you they are static electricity. But the shining heroes of Halloween tend to go a bit further, putting days of work into one night of recognition.
Yet, as sad as it is for them, as soon as Halloween is over, so is the product of their hours of toil. I refuse to give up on them like that. And so, in this post I pay tribute to the different types of costumes that really say "Diff." The unpurchased, über-imaginative, incredibly inexpensive masterpieces that we just can’t ignore.
- The Facial Hair Commitment
Now, I don’t typically like to exclude my female counterparts from Diff contention, but there is nothing that says commitment more than a month’s worth of facial hair.
It is an act of courage that is best highlighted by one simple fact: A random beard in September, especially in office settings, makes no sense to anyone. However a foo-man-choo on Halloween is a thing of beauty. It represents countless mornings of self-restraint. It represents ten minutes of quality shaping and shaving. And, it really makes a costume more believable. Here’s to every Al Borland, Grizzly Adams, Wolverine and White Goodman out there.
- The Restaurant Icon
The thing with food "mascots" is that they are typically regular people dressed to a sincere point of ridiculousness. This makes them the perfect Homemade Halloween candidate. Think about it…if you had 2 weeks, no matter who you are, you could end up as Ronald Mcdonald, Wendy, the Burger King, The Big Boy, or Colonel Sanders without stepping foot in a costume shop. But keep store hours in mind, you will need branded packaging to make your get-up authentic, and no one wants to be knocking on KFC’s door at 10 p.m. just to get an empty bucket.
- The Cardboard Crafter
So you think it’s easy to dress like a train? A transformer? Or both? Well it might be if you have $80 to blow on a game of dress up, but what if all you have is an Exacto knife and a relative that works in a packaging plant? Unless you are committed, you will end up going as a refrigerator. But to the few that really make the best of a bad thing, I salute your imagination and steady cutting hand.
- The "?"
OK, so you took a shot at something abstract, and now everyone thinks you dressed up like a used piece of gum. There are two reasons I salute you. First, you tried to be innovative, and that means you are almost there. Second, you have the confidence to stand proudly and smile, giving into whatever costume they think you are. Don’t worry, there are probably ten costumes invented every year because of this sort of thing. You may feel alone now, but soon you will be seen as the greatest man in the universe. Just look out for next year’s biggest costume being sold everywhere, because you probably have a share in the creative rights somehow. Do you realize how much they will be charging for those things? You are going to be rich.