Back in the 70s, it was cool to be a man with body hair. Burt Reynolds was super cool and he had a huge man pelt. Sean Connery may have been balding, but he had no lack of manliness from the neck down. And guys back then wore their fur with pride.
Not anymore. Now, it’s "eeeewwww" and "oh my God" and "put on a shirt" when, heaven forbid, some poor soul is forced to view some of my chest hair. I’m sorry, but God made me this way and people today hate me for it.
This hatred of body hair has even made it to the big screen. Did anyone notice in the movie 300 that not one of the warriors had any chest hair?
Excuse me? They were Greek guys right? And all 300 of them had bald, shiny, glistening chests. Oh, whatever. I defy you to show me 300 Greek guys in the entire world that don’t have chest hair. I defy you.
But alas, I’ve been beaten down to conformity and I now plan to shave my manly manhood away and I’ve asked for a Phillips Body Groomer for Christmas. This is quite the coincidence, because my good friend Charlie Kondek just happened to pitch me a story about the Phillips Norelco Manalogues scriptwriting contest.
Here’s info from Charlie on the contest:
I’m writing to tell you about something I thought would be of interest to you or your readers – a comedy writing contest.
Philips Norelco is teaming up with FunnyorDie.com to find the best body grooming tales in a new scriptwriting contest. Two lucky winners will have their scripts, or “Manalogues,” professionally produced and posted to the award-winning Shave Everywhere Web site.
Beginning December 3 2008 and running through January 2, 2009 guys can submit their stories at ShaveEverywhere.com. I don’t know if you’ve seen the Manalogues yet, from the same people that brought you "the bathrobe guy," but I hope you check it out. They’re performed by Bryan Callen of MadTV. And you can check out the “Body Groomers Bare All” contest section on the site to see how the writers from FunnyorDie tackled this hairy topic.
Visitors to ShaveEverywhere.com will determine 10 finalists by popular vote from which two winners will be selected by the writers from Funny or Die. The grand-prize winner will receive an all-expenses paid trip to be on location in New York City for the script’s production, and one runner-up will score a selection of Philips consumer electronics and personal care products.
Hmmm. An all-expense paid trip to NYC and all I have to do is submit a body grooming tale? I’m all over that.
And for the record, I do think hairy backs are kinda gross. I think hairy chests (well, at least mine) are fine, but I can’t take the constant harassment and abuse any longer. So goodbye hairy chest. Meet the Phillips Body Groomer.