When I was 6, I got a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake with an upside down ice cream cone decorated as a clown (the sugar cone was the hat, get it?). In 2011, we celebrate birthdays by giving our kids a PLAYABLE ANGRY BIRDS CAKE:
At first I was enraged, I was petrified…but now I’m feeling better about it. And here’s why…
Because I’m a grumpy, overgrown child, it’s easy for me to resent the children of today. They get the sweetest stuff! Don’t get me wrong, I loved my clown ice cream cake when I was a kid, but now it seems so lame! And another thing about kids today (picture me shaking a cane now) – even when they get the sweetest stuff, like a completely edible and workable Angry Birds cake, they don’t even seem THAT EXCITED ABOUT IT*. “Yeah, yeah – cool cake Dad, now give me back the iPad so I can play Angry Birds Seasons and beat the new Valentine’s Day levels.”
However, even the coldest of hearts can be warmed by the tireless efforts of a father – even if his efforts mean more to him, his friends and random You Tube viewers than they do to his own child. Because, in today’s ragtag, technology-ridden world, we can all be kids again. So here’s to you, British Dad. And don’t worry 6-year old kid, one day when you are a grumpy adult you’ll understand. When you pull up child birthday videos on your hologram compu-vision and you see a child dimly toss aside the Back To The Future hoverboard that has finally and justly been realized after all these years, you’ll understand.
*ok, OK – the kid seemed happy. Just let me express my jealously in my own special way – ok? This is how I express my emotions. Feel bad for my husband now.